I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
