Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
