I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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