thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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