If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The air was thick with penises
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
