Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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