you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
