I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
