Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
