The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
