Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
