i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize