she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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