we have pet lesbian snakes
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize