marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize