nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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