She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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