she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
