why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
