And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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