I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Sober January is a disaster.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
