Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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