im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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