No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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