Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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