You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize