Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just cut my nipple shaving
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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