But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
that may or may not have been my penis.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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