just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
