I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
