Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
