Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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