you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
