Where are you?
In a non slutty way
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
