just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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