I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
