It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
