i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
