Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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