p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
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