I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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