i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
