Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
