Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Two words: blizzard sex
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
