Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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