please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
