Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize