4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
