what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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