Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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