6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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