its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
