girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize