What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
