I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
