Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
