I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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