You really coming over, don't trick.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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