The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
