She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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